OSINACHI AND PETER NWACHUKWU; a classic case of “two strangers in love”
Courtship is a time to put sentiments apart and look critically at the character, mannerisms and all what not of your intending partner to avoid regrets after the nuptial knot has been tied- Utibe Umoh
On the 8th of April, 2022 the news broke of the death of a popular talented gospel singer Osinachi Nwachukwu allegedly due to domestic violence by her husband, and this sent shock waves throughout Nigeria and beyond!
At first, the news was unbelievable because majority of Nigerians or even the church where she worshipped and served as a music minister until death were completely oblivious of the gruelling experience she had been going through.
The whole scenario, of course, has not been palatable to the Nigerian christendom and beyond and many concerned fellows online and offline have assumed the roles of counsellors and critics.
One can only but wonder what Osinachi’s family must be going through or even how the children are coping with the news of the demise of their mother.
Of course, in situations like this; especially one that involves marriage, it is usually very unwise to jump into conclusions based on news flying around alone because as in every case of sudden mysterious death, there is more than meets the eye.
What is particularly worrisome about this event is the negative backlash the whole egregious development will have on the sacred institution of marriage! It seems to me that lawful and legal marriage was on trial and the downside of this event could be a rash of separation and divorce which will not augur well for the society.
A few days after Osinachi’s death, the news again broke that her husband, Peter’s real surname is not Nwachukwu, but OKEKENWA according to his elder brother. Not only that, but that he had been married before and neither Osinachi nor her family knew this fact. In other words, Peter lied about himself and his identity all the while and so Osinachi did not know it. How could this be?
This brings me to the core of this discourse – Adherence to agelong traditions would have saved Osinachi.
I am from the Ibibio extraction of southern Nigeria and one thing I know the people of old do is that they never give out their children in marriage until they have thoroughly investigated the intending spouse, his/her family background and even the village where they come from.
Premised on the foregoing, one cannot help noticing the sheer sagacity in such a practice. If this background check had been done, maybe Osinachi would not have married this imposter of a man and probably would still be alive today.
Secondly, it is already a laid down fact that marriage takes more than just love to be successful – while love may be blind, marriage definitely isn’t. Again, it seems to me that the purpose of the all important period of courtship that precedes the actual marriage is constantly being defeated in modern marriages.
That period is never a leeway to unrestrained explorations of temporal pleasures but that of a thorough examination of intrinsic behavioral patterns, lifestyle and hardened habits of one’s prospective life partner.
Rushing into marriage due to societal pressures and all what not will definitely see you rushing out.
Marriage has its physical, psychological, traumatic and emotional upheavals, therefore, in courtship before marriage, a thorough assay before you say I do is indispensable and may just turn out to be a life saver.
It is a time to put sentiments apart and look critically at the character, mannerisms and all what not of your intending partner to avoid regrets after the nuptial knot has been tied.
In this process, tell yourself the truth and anything you see you cannot live with, don’t deceive yourself that your partner will change after marriage because that is wishful thinking; in reality, it may never happen. Afterall, a broken engagement, is better than a broken marriage.
Thirdly, marriage is a life long event, therefore, it’s not wise to rush into it. This is not the first case of lives being lost to this sacred institution and surely won’t be that last if young people fail to set the table right before sitting to dine.
Look before you leap!
May God grant the family of the deceased the fortitude to bear the loss.